Alfyndeal Silverlight

Alfyndael Silverlight, though she abandoned her last name and is now only known as Alfyndael, is a female Kaldorei Death Knight that joined the Order at about a week into its founding. She stands at 6'11, and she has a slim yet muscular build-- the result of her adventurous lifestyle before death. She almost always has noble-like posture and a distant look in her glowing eyes. While her voice has a slight frosty rasp (thanks to the necrotic magic that made her undead), her aim often isn't to intimidate others. She is simply fiercely loyal to the cause, since it was one of the few places she has felt accepted as a death knight.

Personality
Alfyndael's personality--at heart--can be a mix of optimism, adventurousness, and a tad mischievous. Unfortunately, her undeath has made her expression and emotions quite numb. The twisting and breaking that occurred in her initial transformation into a death knight can never be undone.

Because of her shattered soul, while she seems distant at times, her mindset is often inseparable from reality. She speaks and acts logically. While she's an elf that carries herself with noble-like grace (more so out of muscle memory of her living self), she does not wield the romanticism that she has an appreciation for-- the closest sensation she has for that is her ability to place the Order's well-being above all else. As a death knight, she is also still far more prone to bitterness and anger above all other emotions, but does not often cling to pride. As a kal'dorei, she used to despite the fact she was undead; she's hardly ever angry at those that despise her.

In conversation, she is often very honest despite a faintly sarcastic sense of humor. This can make her seem off-putting at times, with either her sarcasm or seriousness or blunt questions. But if she thinks the person deserves it, she can be very sincere and even a tad sweet. However, as she did in life, she is a loyal friend to anyone that shows trust in her. In that way, she kept a tad of her young naivety.

Alfyndael used to consider herself useless to diplomatic matters, but the truth is, she's found out that she's quite useful internally. Her calm and distant nature has proven as useful in uneasy situations more than once. She's also a good friend to those afraid of her or Amunedal's undead nature. If there is anything that she is proud of, it's her ability to earn trust from her fellow Ravens.

Physical Appearance
She has a slightly heart-shaped head, with a shapely nose, full lips, and short white hair. Her skin is a very pale lavender (once darker while living), and her eyes glow faint blue with unholy light. She does not perceive herself as attractive, but back when she was living, she was quite vain and often decorated herself with jewelry and makeup. Overtime, Alfyndael has retrieved a bit more of her vanity. She will comb her hair a bit more thoroughly while she barely bothered before. Still, she rarely ever attempts to impress. Honestly, there's only room for doubt there now that she's realized her affections for Tarkonis.

In battle, Alfyndael often wears a dark blackish-green armor set. She used to wear a mix of leather and plate, but now she's moved to only plate. While some of her agility has taken a hit from it, she's still efficient with her greatsword runeblade, as to be expected of an undead with near unlimited stamina. Silvercurse, her runeblade, is a long elegant greatsword that shines sharply always.

If she is casually walking around in cities, she will often ditch her weapons and armor in favor for casual cloth clothing. She's found that it helps some feel less alarmed by the presence of a death knight.

Young Alfyndael (-120 - 32)
"Their tour of Goldshire was over, but as they stood near the lake docks, they had a different problem now. 'Where that elf go now?' Steffon, a black-haired male dwarf, groaned. They just got here; how did their overgrown kaldorei child get lost already? Suddenly, Natasha, their small female human priest, yelps as she topples into the lake. The dwarf cried in outrage, 'Damn you, Alfyie!! I refuse to wait here for you two to dry off!' The white-haired kaldorei rogue giggles as she shows herself, only dressed in cloth pants and shirt, and jumps in the lake as well. ""'Steffon! I think I saw some copper at the bottom of the lake!' Alfyndael taunts the dwarf happily. Some of the group begins to crackle as Natasha smirks and splashes the purple-skinned elf. ""(Year 30. Alfyndael, 150 years old)"As a young living Kaldorei woman, she was naturally bright, cheerful, loving, and a little ditzy at times. She was always referred to as 'Alfyie' rather than Alfyndael, because she felt like it was more amiable. With her cheerfulness in mind, it might surprise someone to see the great amount of elegance she carried herself with. However, she was born to a enslaved kaldorei family under a noble sin'dorei family in Silvermoon City. Her mother was a slave but also a trained priestess-- while she loved Alfyndael, she never approved of her behaviors. It began a lifelong pattern of Alfyndael never fitting in well with either kaldorei or sin'dorei culture, especially with fellow women. To gain approval, she spent much of her spare time learning to become a priestess, but was never content. Being a priestess just never felt right to her. When she was rather young (145), once the night elves joined the Alliance, she escaped Silvermoon City in order to learn a trade in Stormwind. There, she found a group of adventurers. They were quite the diverse pack, and the closest friends she's ever had. Through them, she found that she was skilled as a stealth attacker. Although, due to her strong impatient and sociable nature, she had a hard time actually staying stealthy for prolonged amounts of time. They traveled together for 5 years, completing small quests and jobs they found across Azeroth.

She died before reaching fully adulthood (by Kaldorei standards) in a fight against the Scourge in the Plaguelands, her group's final quest. They all died, but only she became a death knight. This completely devastated her. She thought of what her mother would think, what her dead friends would think. There was nothing about being a death knight that gave her joy-- she allowed the Lich King's will to consume her. The Lich King twisted and tortured her until her once pure spirit felt unrecognizable.

Under the Lich King (32-35)
When she woke as undead, despite her fragmented soul, she did not feel completely separated from the once-loving spirit she was. it was only after she endured many months of torture and memory manipulation(unknown to her) that she finally broke. Her previous life felt naught more than a speck of importance compared to pain and suffering she craved to unleash. At the time, she unquestionably followed the Lich King's orders. A loyal spirit by nature, Alfyndael slaughtered many families and desecrated many lands during the Scourge Wars. It wasn't until she found a gold ring with the initials of one of her fallen friends that she began to question her actions (even though it's unlikely it was the same ring their friend owned). So, when the knights of the Ebon Blade challenged the Lich's control, she decided to join that challenge.

Before Joining the Order of the Blue Raven (36)
Unwilling to aid another Scourge cause, Alfyndael became an independent mercenary after she regained her free will from the fallen Lich. It wasn't that she wanted to in particular; there was simply nothing else that she could do, since she was scarcely wanted. She often laid low, avoiding cities when she could. She became an alcoholic, since that was the only thing that brought her closer to whom she once was. Her self-loathing was incredibly strong; overwhelming her always. She avoided dressing like a death knight and favored more colorful armor. In fact, if you ask about it now, you'll find Alfyndael is quite embarrassed by her old fashion choices.

Joining the Flock (present year)
There were rumors of an organization reclaiming an island lost to Scourge. She knew that she could help very much in this effort. Most of all, this felt like a way to regain some of her honor as a fallen Kaldorei. She knew many night elves looked upon her like an abomination-- plus, it was already her life quest to destroy all the Scourge as revenge for turning her into what she is. The Order happened to line up perfectly with her goals. She entered Stormwind, and met Tarkonis in their recruitment office. She was surprised by his immediate acceptance for what she was-- a very first for her--and joined.

Beginning Life in the Order
She has been accepting and appreciative of her time in the Order thus far. While Alfyndael didn't expect to make friends, she did meet some people that she found likable and whom did not hate her for what she was. While she didn't have any deep friendships as of yet, she was fiercely defensive of those she has met (and liked) thus far. She did her best to clutch onto the parts of her personality that are most humane. Yet, her fragmented ideas of life and death were often pushed down in her mind. She had not fully revealed her bits of insanity to others yet-- this is mainly because her killing rampages are always done off-campus, and without any company. She worried still that she'd go insane before ever seeing Wintervhain fully conquered.

Loss of Hunger & A New Loyalty
After approaching the newly allied Bonefather Amunedal to ask if he could remove her hunger for killing, her wish was granted overtime-- slowly, it began to ease. (She did not realize it, but she was succumbing under the Lich's will.) While Alfyndael's hatred to undead had been strong when she approached the Lich, that began to change as well. The Bonefather had persistently shown strange kindness to her, at least far more understanding than she ever expected. She didn't know it, but Amunedal had placed small bits of his consciousness within her, keeping an eye on her and soothing any strong emotion she felt whenever it came up..As her distaste for undead eased, so did her self-hatred.

The most difficult part of truly overcoming her self-hatred, however, was knowing that the only memories she had from her living self were positive, happy, good, desirable-- she did not expect that image to ever break. Then came the day that Alfyndael began receiving letters from Nythe Starbend, an old friend of hers from life. He begged for her to see her sick mother, writing to her everyday. The letters were infuriating her, because Alfyndael did not want to confront her parents or Nythe in her current state. Eventually however, the building anger makes her lash out at the mailman and draws concern from others in the Order. Thus, her and a group of members take off for Darnassus. At Darnassus, she meets Nythe and her mother. She learns that her memory of her life was not entirely true-- it was warped. This greatly upsets Alfyndael, because she remembered her past life as perfect and happy, but finds out she was once a slave. Her mother gives her a gold bracelet that used to belong to their master, and memories of the abuse begins to return to her. Alfyndael breaks down in the middle of the medical ward, sobbing; a vision of Amunedal manages to calm her. Soon after, she's summoned by Amunedal to come to Northread. Kalastraza appeared, to the great alert of the Sentinals, but Alfyndael mounted the wyrm and took off quickly.

She was summoned because Amunedal required assistance. His consciousness was split and the shadows were causing much harm to him. With help of Left and Emlin, they were able to help him. Alfyndael was beginning to feel content for the first time with becoming a death knight."'I mourned for a perfect girl-- but now I realize that she was not perfect either.' - Alfyndael to Tarkonis, on accepting her undeath."

The Inner Turmoil that Remained
Over the next few weeks, she spent a lot of time with Amunedal, going through various trials and tasks to begin crafting her runeblade once more. Alfyndael no longer held the same resentment towards undead or herself. She knew her place in the world, and the life she once had wasn't worth mourning anymore than she already did. So, she was focused on new things.

There was something that she still had trouble giving up, though. A burden carried on from life. Upon hiking up to a mountain and facing her inner turmoil at an alter, she realized that she still struggled with the fact that she would never have a mate or a family. Her young self was a hopeless romantic, a slave whom dreamed of being valued by someone else. She realizes that she always had certain hopes, especially around Emlin or Tarkonis, those in the Order that showed the most compassion for her. As she fought and slew her turmoil, she was relieved but the issue remained. Distraught by the realization, she went to Amunedal.

The Lich reminded her that her life as an undead wouldn't ever change-- it was threatening, even, to the living. Co-existing with young children or a mate would be dangerous for them. Alfyndael knew this, but was glad to be told it by someone else. Her loyalty to the Lich grew. Eventually, she stopped calling him Amunedal or Bonefather, and just Father. She never thought about it explicitly, but she never could say no to the Lich's commands. She always had a reason to follow them. His will became her own.

Silvercurse
There was only one thing Alfyndael needed for her runeblade-- the lifeblood of innocent lives. Amunedal explained that her runeblade would always hunger for those she loved most. She had a choice to kill one of her friends, or-- in effort to spare her from killing Order members--he told her that gnolls were attacking a nearby human family. She could finish their job. Alfyndael reluctantly agreed, though she wasn't eager to feel like a monster and return to the self-loathing she only recently managed to cease. She knew it was necessary to complete the blade, however. In truth, Amunedal's will already rung deep within her; she believed the blade's completion was most important. It was the final step to accepting herself as a death knight under him.

After slaying the gnolls, the family thanked her, and Alfyndael paled as she realized once again the gravity of what she must do. But she did-- the husband, mother, their two children... She tried to not think too hard on it and attempted to focus on her anger as she did it. Then, Stormwind guards appeared. Fear took over her whole self. She couldn't bear the thought of anyone in the Order knowing she had done this. Immediately, she rushed to attack the guards, but Amunedal appeared and slew them. He insisted that he was ashamed for putting Alfyndael through this trial, and that she was not at fault for the lives taken. He embraced her, and the knight managed to cling to him back, though she still could not believe what she had done. Amunedal ordered her to leave, so that he would take responsibility for what happened. Although Alfyndael felt strange about Amunedal shouldering the blame, she was too shaken by what had happened to disagree. She left for the Terrormaw Keep (Amunedal's base) swiftly.

After some weeks, upon her usual night watch on Bastion's Landing, Alfyndael hears the blade speak to her. She realizes the family's souls and clashing personalities gave the blade a very strong sentience. While it only speaks to her mind, and it cannot read her thoughts (thought it can sense her emotions), what she did still haunts her.

Silverlight's Dream
Much time passed. The death knight dropped her family name, Silverlight, in favor of only being known as Alfyndael. Eventually, she proved her worth enough to become a Thero'Shan. With her new position, she carried a new weight and role in the Order, though her affection for such a role did not feel explicit to her right away. She grew a deep profound gratitude for her allies that she was unable to express-- a gratitude so great, that she did not even know the scope of it herself. Without her allies, she would have gone insane long ago. She became slightly more personable, at least to those whom grew close to her in the Order. She did not realize it, but Amunedal was helping her feel more and more, gradually and naturally.

Though, under the growing emotionally intimate bond between her and Tarkonis, the death knight began to realize something that was beginning to crush her. Those pieces of her that wanted to experience things like love... she should have done more to silence them. The death knight, while her self-loathing had eased considerably, couldn't believe that any of her joys were equal to those of the living-- she worried she could never give a partner, especially living, the kinds of profound experiences they may crave. In a conversation with Emlin, she insists that Alfyndael indeed feels love-- she proves it in small actions, especially towards Emlin, whom the death knight now called 'sister' from how close they became. Alfyndael wondered on this, but, at the time, doubted her actions would be enough. In the middle of the night, she leaves Bastion's Landing and goes deep into the forest. She lays on the forest floor, and accidentally slips into a deep sleep. Unknown to her, Amunedal takes several other Order members (Diontei, Tarkonis, Emlin) deep into her mind-- they meet the living Alfyie, whom while gorgeous, loving, and vibrant in personality, was also a baffling coward towards death. Several shocking details are revealed about her past-- including how Alfyndael died, which the death knight doesn't truly remember herself. At the end, the undead Alfyndael saves them from the death trap Alfyie left them under. Because she was not limited by her own coldness in the realm of her deep consciousness, she was able to admit to them (with strange poetics that wasn't entirely usual for her) much about her new acceptance of herself and the Order. When they woke, they were left with a disembodied phrase: "I am often reminded I am not meant to be the raven whom flies where she wishes, but whom flies so she can feed her young." Diontei, Tarkonis, and Emlin are left with only the faintest memories, though blessed with the overwhelming gratitude that the death knight could never fully express on her own.

When the death knight wakes, she feels different-- as if she became more confident of how she experiences emotion. Suddenly, she understood something crucial: Alfyndael had experienced warmth for the Order and her allies for a long time. That faint love was all she truly needed to have a profound purpose in her undeath. Rather soon after that, she began referring to members as ravens, and to the Order as a flock. Though her caring and affection could not be as vast as the living, she found that her undead patience and silent guiding hand could be more valuable than she thought. Though, something else rather incredible happened upon the day from waking of the dream. In the middle of the night, she stood outside of Bastion Landing's town hall beneath a light post, waiting to hear word of Tarkonis's return from the expedition. She needed to bring him to Terrormaw upon Father's request, and the sleepless death knight could afford to wait. Then, completely unexpectedly, she sees Tarkonis running. As soon as he spots her, he approaches her, barely able to utter words from the miles and miles he spent trekking at full speed. The death knight is confused and concerned, but when she goes to help him stand, he pulls her in-- after a brief moment, he kisses her. Alfyndael is shocked by this; yet, quickly deeply accepting, returning the affection. It was the first time Alfyndael, living or dead, experienced a sensation of total fulfillment-- completion. They spent a small amount of time discussing it before meeting Amunedal, whom somewhat predicted this could happen. Eventually, after some warnings, he gave them his blessing.

Scarlet Shadows
A significant chapter in her career occurred when her runeblade, Silvercurse, was shattered by an inquisitor. It sapped her of much of her brawn-strength, and now she is equipped with plated robes and a polearm. (More details are read in the short story, "Scarlet Shadows," in Discord!)

Day Schedule
She has many obligations throughout her day-- the most consistent is her night patrol over Bastion's Landing, as she does not always sleep and busies her time with such. Also, she must bathe thoroughly everyday in order to keep her flesh from rotting away. (She also brushes her teeth!) She does not want to look undead, despite the fact that most anyone can tell. You could say that it's all that's left of the strong vanity she used to have.

Alfyndael also tinkers in her spare time, and makes sparse trips to Ironforge in order to buy parts. Ever since joining the Order, she is a bit more comfortable about going into cities; still, she doesn't often dawdle, unless she's reading books in the recruitment office. She will also carry out any other errands or whims of the Bonefather, including merely spending time with the undead family.

(OLD : After the Silverlight's Dream event, she doesn't do this anymore due to her accepting that she cares for all ravens.) She also takes some time to keep track of people she's met, and her relationship with them. This is in order to manage her own feelings towards others, and to not accidentally make friends she didn't intend. There's only so much positive emotion that she can handle until she must begin slaughtering things or inflicting pain. (Think of it as a gag reflex to happiness.) The notebook offers an illusion of control over her burning bloodlust.

☀http://order-of-the-blue-raven.wikia.com/wiki/Alfyndael%27s_Relationship_Log

Extra Notes

 * Many elements of her character are inspired by this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON3qRFzTzo4.
 * There were two humans, one dwarf, and one gnome in her adventuring group while living. A male kaldorei was also part of their traveling group for a short amount of time, and wasn't there when everyone died.
 * People tend to RP death knights slightly differently, depending on the condition of their bodies and how they died, so to clarify on some things that she's capable of as an undead:
 * She CAN eat, but her tastebuds are very dull and that's why she carries around soy sauce with her everywhere.
 * She CAN technically sleep, but it was illegal to under the Scourge-- now she simply refuses to in order to be more productive. She also believes she doesn't deserve rest.
 * Her body bleeds a black-green liquid due to the necrotic magic that sustains her.
 * She can get drunk, but it takes a lot of alcohol to get her there due to her numbed nerves.
 * She is capable of positive emotions (compassion, happiness, love) BUT it is often expressed faintly. She was made to be a non-feeling killing machine-- positive feelings go against everything she was made to be.
 * Sex? She hasn't tried. She has no physical desire to, either. Emotional? Well, hard to say yet...